Tuesday, February 1, 2011

10 Secrets.

1. My middle name is only known by a select few people. I do not like it, and even though this is the place to reveal secrets, I am not revealing it here. Instead, you can all just know I hate it.

2. In Grade 3 I played kiss chasey. The boy I had a crush on [Luke Seers] caught me, and as I prepared for a delightful kiss, he pulled my pants down and left me standing in my pink flower print knickers in front of my teacher Mrs. Creedy. I cried for days afterwards, and still to this day it traumatizes me.

3. I have a deep phobia of chickens. Not the deceased kind that I can chuck in an oven tray and roast, but the living clucking kind, and this phobia has stemmed from my childhood. My Aunt had chickens that were psychotic peckers and I used to jump on her trampoline to get away from them. Her chickens chased me, jumping on the trampoline after me, and would constantly peck at me. I hated going to her house, I hated being forced to go out into her yard, and I hate her for the trauma her and her psychotic chickens put me through. It has ruined any chance of me watching Chicken Friendly films [i.e. Chicken Run] and not secretly hope for them all to die in the end.

4. I had a crush on a boy Richard Cox [yes, that was his real name] for several years. He was a skateboarder, incredibly short, with blonde hair and blue eyes. He was mean to me, but I was convinced he was secretly in love with me, hence why he insisted on throwing pens at me in class. For my 14th birthday all my friends signed a birthday card for me. I have kept this birthday card, as he declared his love for me in it, in my "box of treasures" for 9 years. The last day I saw him, he was leaving my school. Our last conversation went like this:
Me: "Are you leaving?"
Him: "Yeah"
Me: "Okay, well bye"
Him: "Bye"

It was the most "heartbreaking" moment of my teenage years. Deep down, I hadn't got over it until Richard added me on a social networking site a few years back. We now laugh about the olden days, and he's a pretty good friend of mine now. Turns out we weren't in "love" afterall. Go figure.!

5. I have a minor addiction to Coke. Not the snorting kind, the soft drink kind. I drink approximately 6 litres a day. I don't know why. I just do. I like it.

6. I hate, hate, hate talking on the telephone. I do it if it's necessary [calling my utilities companies, calling the doctor, calling my Mum, etc] but otherwise, I avoid phone calls at all cost. I have even been known to turn the volume down on my phone when someone is calling. It's not that I hate them, I just don't want to be stuck talking to people on the phone, even if I have known them for years.

7. I don't like wearing bra's. In all honesty, from the age of 15 through to the day I was 27 weeks pregnant with my son at the age of 20, I never wore a bra unless I absolutely had to [these occasions were things like my Deb & my Wedding Day]. Now, I haven't had a bra-free day in over two years.

8. I am afraid of cooking. I do it, but suffer from the inability to breathe if something I am cooking does not look like the cookbook I am copying it from, or if something looks like it may burn. This stems from the time I was 12 and made pancakes with my friend. We set fire to my Mum's curtains, by pouring water on an oil fire. Dumbarses.!

9. The first and last time I had an immunization at school was when I was about to start Grade Prep. I tried to be brave, but cried more than any other kid there. I would always have my immunizations at our local doctor in case I cried. Turns out I never did, but I still insisted on having my needles in private, just in case.

10. I hate raw tomato. I cannot eat it. I cannot stand the smell. I hate that even by touching something with it's "tomato cum" everything then smells and tastes like tomato. I hate going to places and saying 'No Tomato' only to find they snuck it in there, just to be bastards. I have been known to get irrational on many a drive-thru due to this, and have since decided that I am going to list tomato as an "allergy" anywhere I go, just so they DON'T stuff up my orders and put it anywhere near my food...

Me: "Now, I DON'T want TOMATO, you got that!?"
Some Poor Pimply Kid: "Yes"
Me: "I mean it if there's tomato on it, heads will roll. Last time I was here they put tomato on my damn burger and I was not effing impressed.
Some Poor Pimply Kid: "Okay, that's NO TOMATO!"

...I have even gone as far as walking in to fast food places, after they stuffed my order on Drive-Thru...

Me: "RIGHT, who's the genius who put tomato on my burger? I specifically asked you NOT to put it on there. You are lucky I found it before I took a bite"
Manager: "Why don't you just take the tomato out?"
Me: "If it was that darn simple why the HELL did your staff put it in!? I can't just "take" it out, the tomato cum is still in there!"
Manager: *sighs*
Me: "I am allergic, okay, there is a reason I don't want any essence of tomato in my burger"
Manager: "Oh... I'm so, so, sorry" *shouts at staff* "Make her a new burger, with NO tomato... STAT*"

Despite loathing tomato, I do not mind it cooked. I also, enjoy tomato sauce & tomato salsa.
Where's the logic? Luckily, I don't order burgers with tomato sauce that way the staff that I yell at, can't get all "technical" on me, and I am right.

* The manager of said fast food outlet may or may not have said 'stat'. It would've been cooler had he said 'stat', though, hence why in my version of events, he did say it.

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