Letter to my Children - 'One Year Edition'

This time a year ago, a beautiful little bundle had been placed on my chest.
An incredibly welcome, and life changing edition to our family of three.
Bigger than you, Master S when you were born, but in many ways smaller, more petite, and seemingly more fragile.
The most perfect little girl in the world.
In between cooing, chowing down pizza while she slept & fretting about spending my first night away from you, I worried what you'd think of your new baby sister, Master S.
Would you be jealous?
Would you dislike her?
The moment you came bounding into that hospital room to meet Miss E, the love was all over your face.
It's been a year since that day.
A year since she made her grand entrance.
A year since we handed you the precious bundle wrapped in pink and you touched her nose with your chubby little finger, and kissed her cheeks.
And what a year!
Everything Master S did caught your attention, Miss E.
You loved him as much as he loved you.
You were rolling at 2 months old, crawling at 5 months, standing at 6 months, taking tentative steps at 7 months, and running at 8 months old.
You wanted to keep up with him, to join in his play.
You annoy him. He is often trying to escape you, or pushing you over, or snatching his toys out of your hands, but he also worries about you.
You stood near the heater the other day, and he shouted 'No NooNoo' (his nickname for you) and edged you out of harm's way.




We've all come so far in one year.
I changed the moment I was expecting the very first time, but becoming a Mummy for a second time, changes you more. I'm a different person. A better person for having the two of you to call my very own.

Happy First Birthday, Miss E.
Happy First BigBrother Anniversary, Master S.

  

I love you both to the moon & back.
Always and forever,
Mummy xoxox



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On a completely unrelated topic, I would just like to apologise again to all my followers on Twitter who received inappropriate spam emails from me. I have deactivated that account and have created a brand-new Twitter and can be found under the UserName @_OurAdventures_
If you could all forgive me and follow me again, I'd appreciate it. Right now I feel unpopular, and stalker-ish :)

When the cat's away...

Master S is at his Nana's.
He stayed there last night.
Being on holidays he loves spending as much time as he can with his Aunties and Uncle, and I am okay with that, but I'll be buggered if it doesn't hurt my feelings that he's way too happy to go.
I console myself with the fact that Nana has a kitten, dogs and a snake, all of which he doesn't have here and that's why he enjoys his sleepovers enough to run out the door after planting a kiss on his sister's head.
While he is gone our house is a lot quieter, and despite missing her brother, Miss E enjoys the time he's gone.
Not because she doesn't love him, but because she can play with his toys which fascinate her more than her own.
Master S has toy trains that look a little something like this:



He got one for his birthday and the other three were bought by his Daddy. Since Miss E is quite taken by them, Hubby even bought Miss E one, which is the yellow train pictured. Master S claimed it as his own and gave her her dolly to play with so she wouldn't notice.

Miss E plays endlessly with the trains while her brother is not here. (as you can see by her little hand trying to grab them in the photo).
Master S is not silly. He is aware she plays with his things and even checks to make sure they are where he left them. Namely inside his guitar (so she cannot get them out if she should find them).




He knows I can get them out (I have to do it for him) and he does not mind if I play with them, but she's 'not allowed' and if I do let her play with them, we get met with The Mean Face!





So, before he comes home, I'll be sure to drop his trains back in the broken guitar and whip out all Miss E's toys that she finds so boring, so that Master S can give us his Happy Face, instead.




So between us, shhh?

Sibling Rivalry.

It happens.

I used to fight with mine, and still do to this day.

After finding out I was pregnant a fight with my sister led to her saying,

"Why don't you go have sex? Bitch".

Er, I did, hence the situation of being pregnant.

But that's another story.

Just wanted to add it because it's still funny nearly 3 years later.

Now, when I first had the kids, I was still living at home with my parents & siblings.

Master S, despite being an only child, never was alone.

Due to constantly being surrounded by children,

I had concerns about sibling rivalry,

but not many.

My concerns were based on other things,

Would Master S feel equally loved, even though he was?

Would Mr. M favour Master S over the new baby, since he grew up being the least favourite child in his family?

Would I be able to teach a 19 month old to be gentle?

I would only have answers to these when I gave birth.

Master S [obviously] was a big part of my pregnancy.

He attended all my appointments and ultrasounds.

I started him in PlayGroup to get him used to being around other children,

and borrowed many library books about being a big brother.

He was still young, but was incredibly wise.

He knew "his" bub was living in my tummy,

and was very gentle with my tummy, and loved feeling her kicks.

He'd talk to her & kiss my tummy everyday.

When I went into labour, I was at home and remained as calm as I could so as not to frighten him.

He was to stay home and go to bed while we were at the hospital,

but before he did, he rubbed my tummy through my contractions,

and helped me by holding my water bottle.

I left him that night telling him I loved him,

and when I saw him again, he'd have a little sister.

[Amongst the labour pain, I was incredibly nervous, as it was our first night apart].

After delivering his sister, safely before midnight,

I found it difficult to sleep.

I missed him so much, but knew his Daddy would bring him to see us first thing in the morning.

This unsettled me some.

Mr. M was a big brother at 11 months old.

It was his first Christmas, and his Mum wasn't there with him.

My Nightmare in Law told me the moment Mr. M laid eyes on his sister,

he looked at her & his Mum with pure hatred,

and they still hate each other to this day

The moment I heard Mr. M's voice,

and the sound of Master S' tiny feet running up the corridor,

I was overwhelmed with several emotions.

Relief that he'd made it through the night without me.

Happiness at seeing him after a night apart.

And, apprehension, obviously, about his reaction to myself & his new sister.

The moment he came into the room and saw me holding Miss E,

I looked at his face, and felt silly for feeling unsure.

His eyes were filled with love, awe, pride.

He loved her on sight.

He wanted to hold her, and cried whenever anyone else was holding her because he wanted her back.

When we got home he was so helpful.

[Much to the disgust of my Health Centre Nurse who told me he was a child, and I shouldn't expect him to be a parent... er, okay crazy, he is the one who wants to help, and I'm not pushing him away because you say I have to!?]

If she was sleeping, he'd watch her and tell everyone to "shhh".

If she was awake, he'd touch her face, or climb on the couch with his arms out to hold her.

He'd bring me nappies when she needed them, and even if she didn't,

When I fed her, he sat beside me so we could all read a book together.

When she learned new things, he clapped and cuddled her,

Every night before bed he'd kiss her on the head.

All was well.

We moved out into our own place, and all was still well.

Until she got a little older.

If she touches his toys he snatches them off her.

Sometimes, he hits her for no reason.

Sometimes she cries while playing with him,

and when Master S gets in trouble,

she's grinning ever so smugly.

They have my whole heart.

Both of them.

I love them the same.

I thought loving one child was intense, but loving two is insane!

I want them to see each other as equals,

not rivals.

I buy them the same toys,

because Miss E likes cars,

and Master S likes dollies,

so if one gets something,

so does the other.

But Master S thinks all the cars should be his,

and at the end of our full on days,

that is what their fights are mostly over.

Stupid little toy cars.

I am trying to teach them sharing,

but it's tough when one doesn't understand,

and the other is big enough to stuff the cars in his pockets and run.

Other than the lack of sharing,

he loves his sister.

She loves her brother and cries if he leaves her by herself.

He occasionally goes to stay over at his Nana's,

and the whole time he's gone,

not only am I dealing with my own sense of loss,

but I'm dealing with her's.

She's incredibly clingy,

and won't settle until he comes home.

Do your children fight with one another & if so,

How do you deal with sibling rivalry?