Raw Egg & Raw Mince.

I am pretty annoyed as I write this blog.
I can safely say, I haven't seen my son since I put him in his room an hour ago. I have listened outside his door and he's happily chatting to his toys, unaware of what the hell he's just done.
If only I could live in simplicity.
No, instead I live in the REAL WORLD, where I have to clean the mess he's just made.
My poor cream [it was once cream, I swear] carpet has just worn raw mince [stamped in for extra effect] and about half a dozen raw eggs, smashed.
I have tried numerous things to get this out, and nothing works.
I am so angry & frustrated.
It's so hard to get out, Miss E. is upset that she can't move from where I have popped her, for her own protection until I clean up all the shell and excess cleaning products.
I feel like my head is about to explode.
Any WORKING suggestions to get this crap out of the carpet so my landlord doesn't get his knickers in a twist would be greatly appreciated. If you haven't tried the idea, or know of someone who has tried the idea, don't give me the idea. My carpet was covered in egg and raw mince. It's now covered with heaps of other shit that people have suggested. If it were cooked, my loungeroom would smell like a buffet.
Ugh.!