Mr. M has the unfortunate task of working from midnight through to 9am.
This means I am home alone.
[Please don't come and attack me].
Master S is having a sleepover at Mum's for the evening & Miss E is out like a light.
"It's 2am, so I should hope she is", I hear you say.
I don't know how long she'll sleep for because my neighbours,
[When I say neighbours I mean the westie folk who live about 5 houses down on the OTHER SIDE of the road]
are listening to Eminem.
I can hear it, perfectly from inside my house.
In fact, I can hear their bogan conversation over top of the music.
They have that bogan twang to their voice.
"Oi, Shazza, grab me anotha can",
You know what I mean.
Anyway, while my ever so bogan not-so-neighbours are keeping me up,
I figured I'd blog.
Due to my lack of my computer-ness, I am still unable to share photo's,
but believe me, when I can, you are all going to hate me.
I have a tonne of photographs.
Between my kids doing lots of awesome things,
and expanding our little family, I have shite loads of images to share.
No, I am not pregnant, nor have I magically had another child in a week.
Our expansions are pets.
[We now have 5 pets, despite our landlord saying we couldn't have any. He could've let us have an outside dog, instead he said we can have these pets, who live in the house... Where's your logic, Crazy Man!?]
We have three new family members.
We have two mice, they are the kids'.
Miss E's is "Angelina Ballerina" [Yes, after that turd cartoon character] and Master S' mouse is currently nameless.
I was going to name her Stuart Diver because she buries herself, but thought it a tad crude.
She's white and has ginger patches.
She's also the fatter of the two mice so if anyone can come up with a better name than "Stuart Diver" or "Casey the child who was bullied and retaliated with violence", I'd greatly appreciate it.
She could just stay nameless like our fighting fish, whom I have only recently named "MacGyver".
We've had him for months, and he's only just got a name.
Luckily, I have ten months to come up with something for my kids, otherwise they too would be nameless.
My Mum has a new blue tongued lizard, whom I also named "MacGyver".
Go me, for creativity!
Now, for our newest member of the family, who arrived this morning, much to my delight,
I have named him Yurtle.
Yes, Yurtle is a baby turtle.
After years, and years of nagging my parents to get me a turtle,
[Yes, I am aware I am 23 years old and there have been countless opportunities for me to buy my own baby turtle]
my Dad came to my house today and said "Put out your hand" only to sit the most precious little turtle in it.
[I did frustrate him a little by saying "No effing way", because I have traumatic memories of my Nana saying the same thing to me as a little girl, and me being the trusting soul I was had a worm dumped in my hand].
So, Yurtle is currently living in a make shift tank, because despite my incessant desire to own a baby turtle, I was in no way prepared for one.
He seems happy enough.
He's the size of a 50 cent piece.
I measured him to end a mini-argument my parents had about his size.
Dad claimed he was the size of 20 cent piece.
Mum said he was the size of a 50 cent piece.
I measured him, so that when people ask his size, I am not a mis-informed douche.
Not saying you're a mis-informed douche, Dad.
You just have giant hands and no concept of size.
Yurtle likes to swim.
He's a pretty good swimmer.
He is also able to stick his head out of water,
I made sure of this in case he can't climb on the rock platform he has in his tank,
so he will not drown.
I must admit, aside from the noisy neighbours, and the lack of manliness in my house in the dark,
thus making me crap myself,
it's Yurtle who is keeping me awake.
I feel like I did for the first 6 months of my children's lives.
I need to keep an eye on him, just to make sure he's safe.
I lost a lot of sleep while my kids' were newborns.
I was lucky, they slept right through the night,
But it was my overwhelming need to make sure they were okay that kept me awake.
Did anyone else feel like this when their kids were born!?
I am going to watch a DVD, because there's nothing on television for poor sods like me who can't sleep.
If I watch Infomercials any longer, I may impulse buy an Ab Circle Pro.
Does anyone have one and do they work? Wait, what am I asking!?? Don't tell me. My purse can't cope with it!