Thursday, April 14, 2011

John Jarratt + Glenn Close = Creep-Fest.

This blog post is for my Mum.

So, we went on a drive out bush today.
My Mum, Dad, Brother, Sister, Kidlets & I.
Naturally, when travelling out in the middle of nowhere,
everything reminds me of the movie Wolf Creek.

*Image taken from here

 I have posted briefly about John Jarratt before,
but I feel now I should expand on my pure hatred of the guy.

Wolf Creek is a film about backpackers who find a saviour clad in flanellette & sideburns.
Obviously, they were tourists, because even I could tell he was a psycho.
The creepiest thing about him, besides those sideburns is that bloody laugh.
That laugh makes me want to tear my ears off & throw them away.

Now, my brother mentioned something on our trip, pertaining to the fact that John Jarratt is now in Husqvarna advertisements on television.
A psycho killer promoting lawn mowers.
Not to mention he was once on Better Homes & Gardens.
I always wondered how his grass was so lush.
I hear that human remains is the best kind of fertilizer.

It's no wonder Noni Hazelhurst starred in City Homicide.
She knew all about Bush Murderers, since she was married to one.


You may have noticed, I also mentioned Glenn Close in the title of my post.
Fuckin' Glenn Close.
You might know her from 101 Dalmatians & Fatal Attraction.
[Yes, those are the only two Glenn Close movies I know of].

If you don't think you've seen Fatal Attraction,
let me briefly remind you of it's content.
It was the movie that made women avoid marriage.
The movie that made men avoid affairs.
The movie that made kids ask for any pet other than a bunny.

The movie that Tom Hanks referred to in Sleepless in Seattle, when he said,
"It scared the hell out of me. It scared the hell out of every man in America!"

Yes, Glenn Close was a loony tramp in the movie, Fatal Attraction,
but aside from the bunny boiling, kidnapping, stalker she portrayed,
it was the scene where the music from Madame Butterfly is playing,
and she's staring into space yanking on the power cord of a lamp, turning the light on & off,
that really scared the crap out of me.
And why wouldn't it?
Look at her!

*Image taken from here

It's a creep fest if you ask me.
If John Jarratt & Glenn Close got married.
It wouldn't surprise me.
It'd make me seriously consider where I'd live.
Certainly not anywhere out bush,
and I'd be carefully eyeing off my husband's co-workers, wherever we did end up.

Glenn Close & John Jarratt probably wouldn't live long together,
 living on boiled rabbits and hacked up tourists for dinner, and all.
They'd probably catch mixo... or SARS?

One can only hope...

*insert creepy John Jarratt laugh here*


  1. Imagine their kids! Love this post xx

  2. Hop'pin by from 'FlogYoBlog Friday'. I'm following your blog now, wont you please come and follow me back?? ~KM

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  3. I PMSL reading this :) I have refused to see both movies because I'm such a scaredy cat. My husband wants us to go camping up near the real Wolf Creek and even without seeing the movie I REFUSE to go. Now that I've heard that laugh, I am scarred for life.