Wednesday, December 14, 2011

It is Time.

Today we are 16 weeks pregnant.

Yes, I didn't realize until two hours ago, but this is the crucial time that every pregnant woman is waiting for.
That time when you are out of the danger zone, or for more patient pregno's, the time to tell the world you are up the stick.

I announced our pregnancy the day after I pee'd on the stick. The second day because, I wanted to get my head around having another child before I told anyone else, and I wanted to pee on another five sticks first thing in the morning, to avoid making a dick of myself by announcing we were pregnant, if it were just a faulty test.

I have learned several things since being pregnant with my third child.
I learn new things every time I am pregnant, but this one's taught me some things I never realized before.

One: When you have a pigeon pair, and announce you are having a third child, people aren't as excited for you. In fact, I've encountered some people who make me feel like some baby greedy whore who can't keep her legs shut. When I announce I'm pregnant, I do not wish to hear the words 'AGAIN?' or 'I knew it!'. Obviously, I am pregnant again, just between you and me, babies do not grow in cabbage patches so I have been pregnant twice before, therefore I am doing it again. Don't be devastated, just read 'Where did I come from?' and that should get you up to speed. To tell me you knew it, is just ridiculous. How could you possibly know when A) I haven't seen you in person for several years and B) I do not give the details of my menstrual cycle to you.!? You idiot.

Two: People are often keen to know if a third child is planned. Does it make a difference? None of my children were planned, but I do not carry them for 40 weeks, blow up to the size of a house, encounter drug free labours, which result in an infant only to tell my kids daily 'You weren't planned!'
They'll never know they weren't planned and should one day they stumble across this post, it won't affect them to know they weren't planned because they were wanted, regardless. They are loved as much, if not more than if I had strategically planned their conception to result in their birth. If the real question you meant to ask was 'Did I use contraception?' my answer is 'Unless you are standing outside my window peeking on me having intercourse, or you are my OB or GP, that information is none of your business. Would you like to know what position we did? If so, you're a creep!

Three: People seem to think that just because I am an 'old hand' at having babies, I don't like to hear any useful information or words of support. I assure you, all those fancy pamphlets I once had, hit the bin when they no longer impacted on me or my children, add baby brain to the mix, and chances are I've forgotten anything I need to know. As every pregnancy is completely different, odds are there are some things I would like to know, so please don't treat me like a moron if I ask.

Four: Morning sickness still sucks. No matter how many times I wake up and hurl my cookies, I can't get used to it, and hearing the words 'Can I get you a spoon, love?' just make me sicker.
I'm looking at you for this one, Hubby!

Five: When I say 'We're pregnant!' I do not want to hear 'When you give birth, I'll put the rod in your arm'. Okay... Great... I'm all for discussing contraception with you, Doctor but when I'm fucking over the moon, and here to discuss the care of my unborn child with you, do not dampen my mood by making me feel like a creep who needs to be stopped from having children. I'm 23 years old. I am an excellent mother, and if I didn't think I could give a baby the best life possible, we'd be discussing alternative options. Twat.

And Six: People often ask me 'How will you cope with a third?' or say 'Gee, you'll be busy!' and all I can say is 'what?' How am I to know how I'll cope with a third child? I won't know until I give birth, but I assure you, I trust myself and my Hubby enough to know that we'll be okay. As for telling me I'll be busy, have you not seen the two gorgeous kids I have now? Do you think sunshine comes out of their arse all day long and they don't need me to do anything for them!? I'm fucking busy now, the only difference between now and having a third baby to wrangle, will mean I'll be doing the same things I do now that make me busy with a kid on my tit.

Anyway, I am 16 weeks pregnant.
I am excited. I can't wait. Sorry about the rant but be excited for me, damn it.!


  1. Lol lovely post as usual. Im so exited for you, matt & the kids!

  2. LMAO love the post..good on ya girl..stick it up them...FFS yeah I didn't plan my second one and all I got was how you going to cope at 41 yrs old..Like WTF...She is the devils child but do love her and doesn't matter if you have 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 etc kids you would cope because you have enough love to share for all..Tell all the no goodie's to stick it where their sun don't shine..You will do great and no doubt I am going to be laughing at all the funny, crazy things you, Matt and the adorable kids do..Love to you all and I can't wait for the 3rd one xx

  3. That was from Me Caroline lol..didn't show pic idiots lol

  4. You're hilarious. I can't believe the way people respond in regards to babies, pregnancy and gender. When we found out we were having our 3rd child (our first was stillborn - so kinda 2 really) and it was a third boy - people always gave us a look of pity. We would have liked a girl but of course we were just as thrilled to be having another boy. The absurdity of it all is we struggled through 6 years of IVF and losing out first baby - surely any idiot would know any child would be received as a blessing.