Monday, May 16, 2011

I never expected this...

There are things one never thought they'd do, but find themselves doing when they have children.
Things such as being seen by several men and women with my pants down. Things such as peeing with the door open, showering with an audience, and sporting shirts with milk vomit stains.
Yes, the odd things become a part of life when you become a parent, but today, over two years after becoming a parent, I encountered something that made me think 'I'm 23 years old. I never thought I'd do this'.
Sometimes, I think this and it's a positive experience. Eating escargot, meeting someone famous, calling the local radio station and winning a Red Rooster meal. Today's experience? I see no positive!

Let me briefly re-hash my day.
The Kidlets slept in.
Had their breakfast, bath and some play time.
Followed by lunch, of baked beans and toast, and a nap.
When naptime was over, nappies needed changing.
Stinky nappies.
Times two!
All goes off without a hitch, poo is cleaned, and the Kidlets are happy.

I use the time the Kidlets were distracted to clean out the nappies. After not even two minutes away, I come back inside to hear giggling and chatter.
Happy they aren't fighting, I open the door and was met with a sight and smell that made me want to laugh and cry all at once.

In my haste of grabbing the nappies, a poop nugget, if you will, obviously fell out as I left the room. I came back to find the poop nugget smeared into several things. From my cream coloured carpet, to Miss E's hair & mouth. All over books, toys, clothes & the coffee table. All over hands, walls and the heater.

You can understand why I'd want to laugh, right?
You can also understand why, being the only adult at home who cleans, I'd want to cry, right?

After two baths, soap on skin allergic to it just to get the smell off, some baby toothpaste, half a bottle of disinfectant, a load of washing, a can of carpet deodorizer, a bottle of Dettol Antibacterial Spray, another bath just for poop covered cars that 'drove' the poop into the carpet, several 'Why me's shouted at the ceiling and an ever helpful two year old reminding me that 'poo is yuck!', I am pleased to announce, the poop and it's smell, have left The Happy House. All order has been restored, and I aim never to have an incident of this nature occur ever again.!

So, I put it to you: what's something you never thought you'd do, that you have done, since having children?


  1. Oh dear. You poor Mumma! But good on you for not vomiting :)

    I never thought I would clean out a heavily snotted nose with my bare hands. But sometimes you just cant wait for tissues.

  2. That is just plain gross.

    I had something similar happen. When my daughter was potty training she pooped in her panties, but didn't tell me. She smeared it on toys, herself, the rug, etc.

    I, however, did not feel compelled to laugh, only to cry.

  3. Ugh lovely. Pretty sure I would've sworn :P
    I never thought I'd get up before 7am and yet now that I've got a kid...